The Gift That Can Crush You

There are some people that can walk into a room and feel the pain and burdens of others. They can physically and emotionally feel it. They see injustice on TV, and they can feel the pain and struggle as if it was their own. We might call this empathy, but Scripture calls this the gift of mercy. And it’s a special gift. But it is one that can crush you if you don’t know how to steward the gifting.

Romans 12:15 says to mourn with those who mourn.
1 Peter 3:8 says be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

Galatians 6:2 says to carry each other’s burdens. But a few verses later, Paul says, “each one should carry their own load.” We have our own burdens and lives to carry. You can’t carry the weight of your own life, and the weight of the lives of others at the same time. For very long, at least.

On a football team, there are often two or three running backs who split the load. They share the carries because the beating of 30 carries in a game on one guy would wear him out, make him ineffective, and risk injury.

Those with the empathetic gift of mercy must learn how to split the load. Jesus is in your backfield. You have to learn when to carry something, when to put it down, and when to let Jesus take it. When we try to exercise the gift of mercy without the One who gives us the gift, it will wear you out, you’ll become ineffective, and it becomes a risk to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. You were never meant to exercise and use the gift alone.

Charles Spurgeon likely had the gift of mercy. He was so tenderhearted that he often broke down under the weight of others’ suffering. This led to an ongoing battle with depression. He once said, “Sympathy is a sweet perfume, but it must be poured on the feet of Jesus, else it will eat into the very soul of the man who uses it.” In other words, take your empathetic feelings and gifting to Christ, or it will consume you.

Billy Graham said, “You cannot carry the burdens of the world. But you can point people to the One who already has.”

When I lead ministry teams, we are often ministering to men who are carrying extreme pain and woundedness. Their stories will break you. Throughout the week, I have to remind my team that we have to detach ourselves from the outcome. While we are there, we are faithful to help carry the load for the week, but once it’s over, we can’t go home with them. We can’t go home carrying the burdens of 20 guys, otherwise we’ll be crushed. We do what we are asked to do for the length of time we are asked, then at the end of the week we have to release the guy to God and trust that He will continue carrying the load from there.

Don’t take on burdens that God has not asked you to carry. It’s ok to say no. Romans 12 says if your gift is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. That cheerfulness comes when you are exercising the gift with Jesus. And when you feel discouraged or unappreciated, He will give you the encouragement. He can understand you. He will see you.

We are called to mourn with those who mourn, to carry each other’s burdens, but ultimately we must release those burdens back to Jesus. Otherwise, we are trying to stand in the role of Jesus.

Only He can handle that role.